A Hate Fake Stucco (Fucco)

fuccoWhat is Fucco? It’s that crappy fake stucco that seems to be taking over New York and Long Beach. Well, in my continuing efforts to stop the fucco parade, I am pleased to post this Yahoo article titled 7 Red Flags for Home Buyers.

From the article:

Synthetic stucco siding. This must be installed precisely or else moisture will be trapped behind it, resulting in mold and decay. In the worst case, the siding will have to be replaced. For a medium-sized house (1,250 square feet of exterior surface area), replacing vinyl siding can cost $2,500 to $8,750, while wood or fiber cement siding can cost $5,600 to $10,000 or more. Especially in humid climates, you may want to pay for a special inspection. HouseMaster charges $600 and up, depending on how much of the material has been used and the size of the house.

realstucco1So fucco = mold. Why do I care so much about Fucco? It’s just personal taste, right? Well, Sorry. It’s ugly. It doesn’t look like real stucco. It doesn’t make your house a Mediterranean house. It looks cheap and it brings the entire neighborhood down.

Fucco haters are now starting to call Fucco houses ‘Taco Bell Houses.’ HA! That is hilarious.

I hope that somebody who is even considering installing Fucco on their house reads this and thinks twice. This fake stucco is the Hummer of house renovation. It’s just plain embarrassing. Please Long Beach, say no to Fucco.  Pressure the Long Beach building department to not allow anymore of this type of contruction to continue, or Long Beach will look like cheap, crappy shit. That’s right. SHIT!

Here is a hilarious thread on this matter:  Read- What the fucco?



Please read the terms of service before you comment.

comments

2 thoughts on “A Hate Fake Stucco (Fucco)”

  1. That might be taking it a little far, but it does look like crap. Real stucco is obviously the way to go. Good luck getting the whole city with you, that would be impressive!

  2. “fucco” I like the sound of that, as well as “Taco Bell House”. But there’s no clear dividing point between “fucco” and real stucco. I agree that Styrofoam covered with a paper-thin finish is a cheap (and often fire-prone) excuse for an exterior. But the finish on this stuff doesn’t have to look any different from that of “real” stucco, which is often painted and/or mixed with polymers anyway. The all-plastic variety can also be installed with a weep screed, so it won’t automatically rot out the wood underneath. “real” stucco can be very substantial, adding strength to the house and protecting it from fire and storm damage. But it can also be total crap, thinly applied to plywood and/or OSB; the latter is just as likely to destroy the house as the worst EIFS (fucco) jobs. The compromise I like best uses a layer of insulation (Styrofoam or Airkrete), covered with a layer of cement board, with a flat stucco finish and hopefully as few embellished “architectural details” (like quoins, elaborate arches and other Disneyland stuff), as possible (though emphasizing lintels and sills is OK). This would still feel solid, would offer some reinforcement and not look too fake. The real thing, if put up on corrosion-proof mesh, is also a good alternative.
    That said, even the fakest, stupidest Disneyland EIFS job can’t come close to the ugliness and tackiness of vinyl siding. At least EIFS stays still; vinyl siding has to be installed loose to accommodate its expansion; you can pull it off with your bare hands. The sight of the stuff makes me gag. Compared to that, a “Tacco Bell House” doesn’t sound so bad.

Comments are closed.