BREAKING: has won the First Annual Long Beach Prankster Award! [This is not a Prank]

award3FOR MEDIA RELEASE: This is not a prank. has won the City Manager’s First Annual Long Beach Prankster Award for their April 1st article titled Urine-Indicator Dye To Be Used This Summer. The award was presented by the City Manager to nobody at the April 2nd City Council meeting. You know, that bi-monthly meeting that starts at 7:00pm. Well, I got there 7:23pm and missed my own damn ceremony! What can I say? I’ve become Mr. Unreliable ever since I became a dad. That is my excuse. Next time tell me to show up at 6:30 and MAYBE just MAYBE I’ll get there by 7:00…

The video of the award being presented by City Manager Jack Schnirman starts at the 03:00 mark. Watch it on USTREAM here:

If this really is an annual event, I am willing to donate this blog as a place for your April Fool submissions. They have to be complete articles with photos, etc. I can’t finish your ideas because I’m your competition and will be defending my title. Here is the catch: I can’t remind you to submit your article. The whole fun is watching the anger and laughter unfold, so no word of this contest will be mentioned here prior to the next April Fools. Don’t submit your articles now, or they will get “lost”. Send them to me next March, at least a few days before April 1st so they can be processed.

What’s next for me? Well, this year it was urine in the ocean. Perhaps next year my prank will be about poop in the bay? Or does the Bay Park sewage-treatment plant in East Rockaway do enough of that already?

Anyway, here is my acceptance speech:

I personally would like to thank the City Manager and Council for this wonderful award. Yes it’s true, while we do have more serious issues to deal with in Long Beach right now,  there’s always room for laughter. It is the best medicine, after all.

The fact that my article on Urine-Indicator Dye made a few people laugh really humbles me. The fact that our officials have a good sense of humor about it and even printed up this amazing award humbles me even more. I am so grateful, words cannot describe what I’m going through right now.

I also want to thank my friends and family, my lovely wife, child, fish and roomba named Kevin. And most of all, I want to thank god for putting me on this earth with the sole purpose of writing articles about urine.

Thank you and God Bless America.


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