Tag Archives: Nosy Neighbor

Oh, My Nosy Cup Overflows [The Schwartz Report]

Oh!! I feel as if I hit the jackpot!  Not really, as I do NEED to hit the jackpot, but in terms of filling my insatiable thirst for rumors I just discovered The Schwartz Report.  Yes, every time I say it reminds me of Space Balls, but the forum is full of nasty backstabbing and innuendos and some factual details all blended into perfect wave.  It’s an entertaining read on a chilly day.

The forum has been around for a while so you can go back and read the histrionics of our political battles as well as the rest of Nassau and Suffolk County.  As for many forums no one uses their real name so there are many Unregistered Guests and you wonder where they get the inside scoop and who they are but that’s for another post.

Perhaps you’ve discovered this gem on your own.  Perhaps I need to get a life, but here’s the link.  http://www.theschwartzreport.com/vb/index.php


Nosy Neighbor III [Thy shall not put leaflets on my car]

This is the third part in my ongoing series about being a nosy neighbor. My curiosity peaked again Easter Sunday when the cars in the West End were all graced with the Ten Commandments.  As families came out of their homes to greet their guests or to head to others they picked up the piece of paper and read it or tossed it in the garbage or like I did bought it in the house.

You may find a copy flying about in other parts of the City as it’s quite windy today.

So I’m curious as to who would go to all the trouble and expense of printing let’s say over 300 pieces of paper and get them under everyone’s windshield before sunrise yesterday.

Was it a mission?  Was it a group of people or just an individual?

If the mission was to open up dialogue, he/she/they succeeded.  Our dinner conversation included a heated debate on the order of the Commandments to whether God is jealous and what one can or cannot covet.

 Easter Dinner 2012


Jack: Murder isn’t Number 6 it’s Number 5.

Jill:  You’re wrong. Thou shall not steal is 6 and what the hell is a manservant? (The paper makes its way around the table)


Aunt Mary:  There are different versions of the Commandments.

Uncle Patrick:  Yeah, remember when Mel Brooks dropped a whole concrete block, there’s supposed to be 15! (Uncle Patrick swigs from his libation)

Jack: You’re an ass, Patrick.

Uncle Patrick:  Well according to that (He waves his libation at the paper being passed and read by the “adults” at the table) you shouldn’t covet my ass! Pass the stuffed mushrooms.


(From the den giggles are heard from children as the word ass gets tossed about. They’re in for a rude awakening later in the dinner when language becomes more colorful than the eggs.)


Sarah:  You’re both right and wrong. There are varying differences between the Catholic and Judaism versions.


Uncle Patrick:  They teach you that stuff at that liberal college of yours?

Brian:  She Googled it.


(From the kitchen)

Grandma:  Dinner’s ready!

(A hush fills the room as children run to the table and everyone finds their seat with a name centered on their Martha Stewart plates against the backdrop of a Spring tablescape the Food Channel would be proud of.)

Grandma:  Who wants to say Grace?

Douglas:  (eagerly raising his hand as 5 year olds do) Me! Me!

God bless us all and grandma’s carrot soufflé and that we have Peace in the World. Amen.

All:  Amen.

(Food gets passed around, laughter ensues Uncle Patrick goes to take a nap and watch The Masters)


Thanks to the person or persons for an interesting and enlightening dinner conversation.  I hope you all had a wonderful Easter or Passover or both!



Nosy Neighbor II [Did I just hear gunfire?]

My home is on the Beach side of the City. Two blocks away is the “bay” or Reynolds’s Channel.  Some Sunday mornings I am aroused from my slumber from the sounds of what I originally thought was someone getting an early start on their Holmes on Homes project.

I happened to mention the banging noise last week when watching the football game with a few friends.  Jim looked at me as if I were clueless for a brief moment than went back to the game.  “That’s gunfire”, he said and took a long sip from his beer in its cozy zipper coat.

“What?” I asked quite surprised. “Hunting what?”

“The ducks, the geese, ya know flying things.” His eyes didn’t divert from the big screen.

Now I confess. I’m originally from Woodside and we didn’t hunt. The closest we came was when one of our Dad’s friends went upstate and we were blessed with deer meat that our mother was clueless on how to add to Hamburger Helper.

The crowd roared as Big Blue scored. I gazed out the picture window and reflected on this new information that had percolated my curiosity.

I’ve seen the camo boats gliding slowly through the calm water early mornings when going over the Loop but sometimes I’m not observant and just focusing on the drive and my own destination. The ducks and geese I’ve seen. They’re not that hard to miss as they blanket half of Nickerson Beach on any given day. I just never put the sound and boats together. I’d make a poor detective.

So if you’re interested in hunting ducks there are rules and regulations on Waterfowl and Migratory Game Bird Hunting put out by Department of Environmental Conservation. You’ll need a boat, nontoxic shot and a love for the outdoors. Happy Hunting!

Nosy Neighbor [That Guy On The Rip Board]

I’m nosy. If I lived in an apartment building I would be hanging out the window with my arms crossed leaning on a pillow. I’m not so nosy that I’d set up shop by the window to be the neighborhood CIA agent, just nosy enough about who and what some of the people in Long Beach are doing.

My curiosity peaks more when it seems I see, in my myopic view of the world, the same people throughout the City at various times throughout the day. How’d did they get here so fast? Why are they doing that?  What’s up with the stuffed animals?

My latest fascination is the man on the rip board. He appears to travel from the East End of the City just to the edge of the West End on Beech Street. He waves to the US Postal carriers as he zips by their route. He also goes pretty fast as he skirts his way directly towards your 30 mile an hour vehicle as you head to the Library. His ability to jack rabbit from lane to lane is quite skillful, yet, gives me a slight case of “agita”.  The odd thing is that I see him all the time at different times in different parts of the City. Why? Is he in a quest for riding a rip board for the longest time in the Guinness Book of World Records?

Yes there are many things to be concerned about in Long Beach and this is trivial on the scale but as I said, I’m nosy.